How To Do Legal Drafting?

A lawyer friend of mine (who probably got it from someone else or through the Net) sent me this brilliant and humourous yet realistic illustration of how lawyers would make things (and life) difficult for others. Also with this illustration, it might de-mystifies for those financially affected as to how legal fees can escalate, especially when billed by the hours or time spent (by the legal assistant(s), senior legal assistant/associate and a partner before the penultimate draft is reviewed by the senior partner).


Original wording:

I want to eat burgers with you.

First amendment:

I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the foregoing shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you in, on or under it.

Second amendment:

I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the foregoing immediately preceding sentence shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it.

Third amendment:

I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence :

(i) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it ; and

(ii) shall be construed only to mean that I want you to eat a burger and me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

Fourth amendment:

I want to eat burgers with you. For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence :

(i) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it; and

(ii) shall be construed only to mean only that I want you to eat a burger and I want me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

For the purposes of the immediately preceding paragraph, with respect to the consumption of one or more burgers (if any) by a person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the “first person”) and another person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the “second person”):

(a) “at the same time” means the consumption of the first person’s burger by the first person at approximately the same time as the consumption of the second person’s burger by the second person; and

(b) “in the same place” means to the geographic location at which such burgers are consumed and does not, for the avoidance of doubt, refer to any part of any burger.

Final amendment:

I want to eat burgers with you (the “Original Sentence”). For the avoidance of doubt, the immediately preceding sentence Original Sentence:

(i) shall not be construed to mean that I want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it; and

(ii) shall be construed to mean only that I want you to eat a burger and I want me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place.

For the purposes of the immediately preceding paragraph, with respect to the consumption of one or more burgers (if any) by a person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the “first person”) and another person (for the purposes of this paragraph, the “second person”):

(a) “at the same time” means the consumption of the first person’s burger by the first person at approximately the same time as the consumption of the second person’s burger by the second person (Provided, for the avoidance of doubt, that the “first person’s burger” means the burger (whether made of beef, chicken, fish, lamb or the flesh of any other animal) owned by that person and not a burger made from the flesh of that person and the same shall apply to the “second person’s burger”, mutatis mutandis and Provided Further that “at approximately the same time” means that (1) the first person commences the consumption of the first person’s burger within 10 minutes of the consumption of the second person’s burger by the second person and (2) the first person finishes consuming the first person’s burger (or notifies the second person, in a notice in writing which is signed by the first person, that the first person has determined that it will not finish the consumption of said first person’s burger) within 10 minutes of either (A) the completion of consumption of the second person’s burger by the second person or (B) the delivery of notice in writing (signed by the second person) by the second person to the first person which states that the second person has determined that it will not finish the consumption of said second person’s burger; and

(b) “in the same place” means to the geographic location at which such burgers are consumed and does not, for the avoidance of doubt, refer to any part of any burger the first person shall consume the first person’s burger whilst seated at a table (the “Table”) and the second person shall consume the second person’s burger whilst seated at the Table.

For the avoidance of doubt, nothing in the Original Sentence (or any paragraph referring thereto) shall be construed to refer to the consumption of human flesh by any person or express the desire on the part of any person to do the same.


Note to draft:

Wording is not ideal but may be the best that may be accomplished under the circumstances, given the complexity of the subject matter and the completely unreasonable deadline.

Which Transformers Character Are You?

Been having a little "Transformers" fever lately - having Burger King Kiddies Meal set frequently so as to collect their Transformers movie tie-in toys; checking out department stores on their latest Hasbro stocks on those "more than meets the eye" toys; watching the 1986 cartoon "Transformers: the Movie". I was surprised to find that there is a quiz on the characters of these robots-in-disguise. Of course I couldn't resist but to take the quiz to add on to the current mania and the result was as follows:

You scored as: Optimus Prime





You are Optimus Prime! The greatest Autobot to ever live. Fighting to uphold your beliefs is important to you. You are a genuine person that cares a lot about the people around you. You rock!!



Which Transformers character Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com


I guess it is just the little boy in me again imagining myself as Prime; having a little time-out to escape the unpalatable reality I am facing now.

What Is Your Political Type?

Recently I was introduced to Facebook, a "social utility that connects you with the people around you". Quite an impressive thingy that could get one addicted to it... Anyway, as I was about to say before I digressed, when setting up my profile, I was asked what is my political view? Huh? I didn't know how to answer that then....

Well, now I know...I found this interesting and educational quiz here that tells me what is my political view.

The political description that fits me best is... CONSERVATIVE

CONSERVATIVES tend to favor economic freedom, but frequently support laws to restrict personal behavior that violates "traditional values." They oppose excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Conservatives usually support a strong military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market economy, and endorse strong law enforcement.


A conservative tends to be for the free market in economic affairs, and against what he calls "big government" -- an excessive federal bureaucracy that intervenes in a wide range of social and economic areas. Conservatives prefer a kind of individualistic self-sufficiency. On social issues conservatives are pro-family, anti-abortion, and in general support traditional moral values and religion. Conservatives usually favor a strong military. -- iAmericanSpirit Political Dictionary


Conservatives generally believe that there exists a transcendent moral order, to which we ought to try to conform the ways of society. Conservatives uphold the principle of social continuity. They prefer the devil they know to the devil they don't know. Order and justice and freedom, they believe, are the artificial products of a long and painful social experience, the results of centuries of trial and reflection and sacrifice. Conservatives are chastened by their principle of imperfectability. Human nature suffers irremediably from certain faults, the conservatives know. Man being imperfect, no perfect social order can ever be created. -- Russell Kirk in The Conservative Mind


Well..., is this good or bad? Or is the quiz accurate or reflective?

Which Theologian Are You?

Found this "theologically challenging" fun quiz here. The result was not what I had expected...




You scored as Anselm

"Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'"


Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com


Anselm?! I don't even have any of his works...

What Personality Tests?

Had a real stressful time at work today...

Thought I might as well do some of these ubiquitous freebie personality tests available in the Internet nowadays to unwind...Had a good laugh at the results. Moral of the story: Don't try out these personality tests when strung up!

Some of the tests I took:

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy. You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself. Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal. You are most compatible with: A and AB Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

Same blood type as Britney and Hitler?! LOL



What Famous Leader Are You?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Pleeease! Somebody needs a brain check.


What Classic Movie Are You?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

This result doesn't seem too far from the truth...



What is Your Enneagram Type?

free enneagram test


Found this site: Similar Minds with many other interesting personality tests. Didn't have time to try them all. If you do check them out, you can let me know how accurate are they ...

Which Super Hero or Super Villian are you?

It's a weekend and am chilling out now ...

Recalling an interesting chat last Sunday on comics with a church member who has a medical practice (didn't know he was into these stuff too; and I thought I was the only weird one), I took a fun quiz on superhero personalities and this was what I got:

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.



Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test


Unfortunately, during and after the Civil War, Iron Man turned "villian" and unfavourable ...

Since I was thinking about how one hero could become a villian later, took another fun quiz to check out who my hypothetical dark personality would resemble and this was what I got:


Your results:
You are Apocalypse

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.



Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test


Don't know how true these quizzes are...obviously, not even to be taken with a pinch of salt! Anyone beg to differ? Where-lah got superhero and supervillian...? Well, not in Malaysia!

What's your X-Men personality?

Time to relax...

If you have the time, try out this fun quiz to find out your X-men personality...



This was what I got:

Your X-Men Personality is Wolverine

Highly intelligent and trained in espionage, Wolverine has the strength and ability to think under pressure. He's an outsider, and while his emotions often get the better of him, he's loyal to his friends and dedicated to the goal of human-mutant peace.

Hey, what about the adamantium skeleton!? That's cool and I prefer to have that than the personality ...

What Type of Christian Are You?

Was having lunch with an old friend (not literally!) who asked if I had taken this fun quiz. Being a member of an independent church, he seemed to be pleasantly amused that he turned out to be a closet "Anglican". Out of curiosity, I took on the challenge to discover what type of Christian I may be.

What type of Christian are you?
Protestant - Non Fundamentalist You are a Non-fundamentalist Protestant. You don't really have a lot of formalized clergy. Your worship is pretty free in terms of what and how you worship. You love the Bible. Your pastor preaches almost an hour. You don't receive Communion all that often and you don't really care to either. Jesus is your life and you pray to Him a lot like He's your brother.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

I guess some things never change...The results are just as I expected... I wonder if there's something like a "Reforming Church"; since I enjoy the teachings of the Reformed and the missional attitude of the Emerging Churches...