What 10 Things To Do In Negotiations?

Work lately involved some lengthy negotiations ...

Most people think negotiation is a game, played every day, every week, anywhere, anyhow and anytime, when one wants a change in his or her position/status quo for a gain or advance in interests (be it personal, financial or otherwise). For example, pre-schooler does not want to bathe or off the TV; teenager wants an iPod from daddy or mommy; customer wants more sotong (at no additional cost) for the nasi lemak he’s buying; person not willing to pay more for a watch in Petaling Street “bazaar”; etc.. Sometimes people just argue for the sake of arguing to see who will win at the end; it’s a matter of “face” for some...but that's tiring (if not fruitless) negotiation.

I have these 10 things to remember (which may or may not help) when doing a negotiaton:

1. Be prepared thoroughly prior to any negotiation. Preparation also includes having alternatives ready. After having alternatives ready, rank them in order of priority from the most attractive to the least attractive.

2. Begin by doing or saying something to ease the tension of the situation, eg. begin by saying something positive and appreciative to the person you are dealing with so as to increase the goodwill on both sides.

3. Set out to reach a win-win situation. Both sides should leave the negotiation feeling something is achieved and that they are satisfied and feel good about it. Further, who knows, there may be future dealings or interactions.

4. Know what you like to have. In a best-case scenario, if you could have everything you want, what would that be?

5. Know what you intend to have. Decide what really matters to you and what doesn’t that you can do without.

6. Know what you must have. Imagine a worst-case scenario: What is the very least you would accept to make a deal? Without this, then it is no deal, i.e. a deal breaker.

7. Write down or formulate your best estimate of the opposite side’s best-case and worst-case scenarios. Give yourself room to maneuver. Make sure you have something to offer the other person, as well as something you want. Getting what you need but leave others satisfied that their needs have been addressed.

8. Listen. It helps much to understand what the other person is saying and their point of view. To listen shows respect and good intentions, and will make the other person feel valued. If you need to know what it is the other party wants, listen for it. As Sigmund Freud said, “If you can get the other fellow to talk enough, he simply cannot disguise his real feelings or his real motives.”

9. If the other person is angry or hostile, then refuse to get drawn into it or to fight. Keep smiling and being pleasant and sooner or later they will calm down. (This is something I have to tell myself constantly to do…)

10. Keep options open. It does not help to insult the other person or storm out, even if you don’t get what you want. End the negotiation politely, and with a smile. That way you can always try again later.

Qualifiers:
- The above is neither fool-proof nor water-tight. Every negotiation can be subject to external pressures and circumstances.

- I am not saying that one should “negotiate” with God. God knows what’s best; we need not “negotiate” with Him, unless of course, if the Spirit prompts strongly. Be that as it may, this is one topic of a conversation which can be lengthy and hence, to be dealt with another time (and place).